Am I Doing This Right? Teen Edition

The useful part

Parenting a teen can sometimes make you nostalgic for the early years, when you could still scoop up a frustrated toddler and redirect her with bubbles. Teens want adults to seek to understand their development and listen and talk with them and not at them. They want grown-ups to stop stereotyping them and appreciate that they're trying to understand themselves and their needs, too.

How it works

• Here are common questions, with answers backed by scientists and their research.
• In fact, developmental science shows this time of life is better recast as "the breakthrough years." According to research on over one thousand adolescents by Ellen Galinsky, author and president of...
• Finally, teens want adults to know that they are drawn to learn skills like goal setting, perspective taking, collaborating, problem solving, and meaning making.
• My 16-year-old doesn't seem to be motivated to do anything beyond hanging out with friends and playing video games.
• But, at that age, young people are still trying to figure out who they are, what interests them, and what their future looks like.

What to take from it

"Identity development and purpose formation are underway, but rarely fully formed by high school," says Kendall Cotton Bronk, professor of psychology at Claremont Graduate University.

Details worth keeping

Along the way, tough situations crop up, and it's hard to know what to do. When I bring up the prospect of college, he says he doesn't care. As parents, we want to set our high schoolers up for success.