How To Keep It Pure When Dating

# Purity in dating goes beyond sex Sarah Titus argues purity is broader than "no sex until marriage." It includes what you allow into your mind and heart, how you behave, and how you structure a relationship. The practical aim is to protect your emotional, spiritual, and physical wellbeing while keeping Christ as the focal point of dating.

Guard your mind and media diet

A suggested technique for couples watching the same movie is to establish a clear signal when something is "not safe" to look at (for example, saying "don't look") and only resume when it's safe. Titus says a genuinely godly partner may not need cues because they will naturally look away, which she values as a sign of integrity.

Talk through boundaries explicitly

Titus recommends a meaningful, honest conversation about personal boundaries early in the relationship. Decide together what you will allow and what you will avoid: physical actions (kissing, holding hands), types of media, and scenarios that feel risky. Clear expectations reduce confusion and help both partners act consistently.

Center dating on Christ and marriage

For Titus, the purpose of dating is marriage. She favors courting and recommends being friends first—an intentional time to learn each other's character without letting physical intimacy cloud judgment. Friendship-first dating helps you observe habits and beliefs (for example: attitudes toward pornography, faith practices, personality traits) before making a marriage decision.

She contrasts this with dating that begins with physical intimacy, which can bias decisions toward desire instead of long-term compatibility.

Mutual accountability and treating one another as siblings in Christ

Purity is mutual. Titus urges treating the other person as a brother or sister in Christ and helping them guard their own purity. That includes supporting each other's spiritual growth, pointing out risks, and keeping each other accountable to agreed boundaries.

Personal testimony as proof of possibility

Titus shares that she saved her first kiss and sexual intimacy for her husband and remained a virgin until marriage. She uses this personal example to show that the approach she outlines is attainable. She also explains she has kept those boundaries even while single, reinforcing that consistency matters regardless of relationship status.

Practical checklist to apply today

• Audit your media: remove books, songs, and shows that provoke sexual desire.
• Establish clear movie rules and a signal for "not safe" moments.
• Have a detailed conversation about physical and emotional boundaries before the relationship becomes intimate.
• Choose a dating model consistent with marriage goals—consider courting and an intentional friendship period.
• Agree to mutual accountability and treat each other as siblings in Christ.

Following these steps aims to keep dating focused on character and long-term commitment rather than short-term physical attraction. Titus frames purity as an integrated practice of guarding mind, heart, and body within a Christ-centered dating process.