Artofmanliness iconArtofmanlinessSep 8, 2026 ~8 min source read

If I Don’t Return: A General’s Wartime Journal Written for His Sons

Retired three-star General Mark Hertling began a journal during Operation Desert Storm to leave practical life and leadership lessons for his young sons. Decades later those notes became the book If I Don’t Return and the basis for a conversation on fatherhood, war, and character.

Podcast #1,132: If I Don’t Return — A General’s Wartime Journal for His Sons

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The wartime notes became If I Don’t Return, drawing on a 38-year Army career that included senior commands in Iraq and leading U.S. Army Europe.

The podcast discussion focuses on concrete themes: making each day count, anticipating friction, the moral weight of combat, marriage and friendship, and everyday practices like handwritten notes.

# Overview

# Why he wrote in wartime

# Career context that followed Hertling survived and went on to serve 38 years in the Army. His later roles included assistant division commander in Baghdad, commander of the 1st Armored Division during the 2007–2008 surge, and finishing his career as commander of U.S. Army Europe. The wartime journal remained significant to him and later became the foundation for his book If I Don't Return.

# What the journal and book cover The podcast outlines several concrete subjects that the journal touches on: making each day count, planning for and managing friction, the moral weight of war, the roles of marriage and friendship in a life of service, and small practices such as handwritten notes. The material mixes personal reflection with leadership lessons aimed at young men growing into responsibility.

# What the podcast emphasizes Host Brett McKay and producer Kate McKay discuss the book with Hertling on The Art of Manliness podcast. Their conversation highlights how a wartime perspective shaped Hertling's advice, including candid elements in the journal like casual profanity and blunt assessments of moral complexity. The episode connects the wartime entries to broader questions about building character and preparing sons for adult life.

# Practical takeaways for readers and listeners

  • If you're considering a similar record for family, the journal model is straightforward: capture concrete moments and the lessons you want passed on.
  • Hertling treats leadership as a set of actionable behaviors shaped by context—anticipate friction and plan accordingly.
  • The book and episode treat personal relationships as central: marriage, friendship, and the practice of leaving physical notes matter in transmitting values.

# Resources mentioned The podcast page links related readings such as Clausewitz's My Life On War and Douglas MacArthur's Prayer for His Son, and provides connections to Mark Hertling's LinkedIn and faculty page for further background.

# Bottom line If I Don't Return started as a father's contingency plan and became the basis for a wider reflection on leadership, character, and how to pass practical wisdom across generations. The podcast provides a clear, conversational roadmap to the book's major themes and to Hertling's long military experience that shaped them.

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