Passing Is Nice, But Living Is Better
When I first began going out en femme, passing seemed like the most important thing in the world. Did the sales associate call me "Ma'am" because she saw a woman or was she simply being polite?
Useful takeaways from this story.
When I first began going out en femme, passing seemed like the most important thing in the world.
Did the sales associate call me "Ma'am" because she saw a woman or was she simply being polite?
Unless someone tells you what they think—and people occasionally have told me that I pass—you really do not know how they see you.
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The useful part
When I first began going out en femme, passing seemed like the most important thing in the world. Did the sales associate call me "Ma'am" because she saw a woman or was she simply being polite? Unless someone tells you what they think—and people occasionally have told me that I pass—you really do not know how they see you.
How it works
- We work on our makeup, clothing, hair, voice and mannerisms.
- A smile may be approval, recognition or nothing more than a friendly smile.
- A laugh across the room probably has nothing to do with you, although an anxious crossdresser can easily assume otherwise.
What to take from it
The trouble is that the passing meter is notoriously unreliable. We practice walking in heels until it no longer resembles a circus act.
Details worth keeping
I studied every person who looked in my direction. Every glance became a reading on my imaginary passing meter. We learn what flatters us and what should remain on the store rack.
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