I May Not Look Like I’m in Pain – But I Am

The useful part

When my mom had a sudden perforated ulcer in her stomach in 2022, she fell to the ground at work and was taken to the hospital via ambulance. While waiting in the ER, she alternated between the floor and the bed in eerie silence. My mom had been dealing with a very bad hip for years, so extreme pain wasn't new to her, and she had long ago trained her mind and body to stay calm when she was in pain.

How it works

• However, because she wasn't screaming at the top of her lungs, all the nurses assumed she was fine.
• It took the staff 9 hours to finally order a cat scan, which showed the hole in her stomach.
• In movies and TV shows, extreme pain involves obscene levels of screaming, buckets of tears, and facial expressions that actually match the number 10 emoji on the pain scale.
• Unfortunately, this disconnect between how pain is portrayed vs.
• They immediately rushed her into emergency surgery, which barely saved her life.

What to take from it

Perhaps I inherited some of that ability to be quiet anytime my pain flares up. I think it's more likely that I learned what anyone who's dealt with pain for long periods of time knows: The patient we see in the media always has the vibe of a screeching red fire alarm.

Example or evidence

• In real life, deep, unrelenting pain often arrives with a scary level of calmness, an odd silence, and maybe – on the especially bad days – a few quiet tears streaming down the face.

Details worth keeping

She just stayed quiet while waiting for help. That does not align with the common media portrayal of pain though.