# Summary
Journalist Hannah Ewens noticed a change in her capacity to engage in ordinary conversations after months of spending work hours watching Instagram reels. She describes becoming impatient in real interactions, mentally fast-forwarding through what people said and seeking a clear takeaway — the same patterns encouraged by short-form, algorithmic video.
# The problem she experienced
At a party, Ewens found herself tuning into an internal commentary that tried to speed the other person up: "get to the point," "what is the takeaway?" That impatience had crept into interviews, chats with loved ones and encounters with strangers. Material she thought she had already heard felt irritating. The effect felt like a loss: she used to be "endlessly curious" about people, and that curiosity was waning.
# Where she traced the cause
After starting freelance work and spending more of the working day at home, Ewens realised reels dominated her Instagram feed. Algorithms served short, fast, interest-tailored clips that trained her to expect speed, relevance and the ability to skip. She and friends described similar experiences: wanting to skip uninteresting parts of conversation or wishing interactions could be sped up like reels.
# Evidence and expert perspective
Ewens cites a 2023 study that found short-form video weakens the ability to hold an intention after an interruption — a crucial skill for following and replying in conversations. Francesco Chiossi, a user experience researcher involved with that work, told her this pattern explains impatience: the more information a conversation requires us to retain, the more likely we are to switch topics, interrupt, drift off or pick up the pace because we believe we've already processed what's being said.
Sociolinguistics professor Marissa Fond advised a practical repair: pause, notice the behaviour, slow down and try to re-engage curiosity about the person or topic. In plain terms, retrain yourself for the slower rhythms of face-to-face exchange.
# Attempts to fix it
Ewens describes small concrete steps she's trying: mentally chastising herself when she feels distracted, reminding herself that some tech leaders limit their children's social media access, and planning to delete social apps on days off. The aim is to reduce exposure to reels and regain tolerance for conversational friction and meandering.
# How she redefines good conversation
# Practical takeaways for readers
- Notice the cue: impatience, internal skimming, or a constant search for a takeaway in ordinary talk.
- Reduce passive exposure to short-form feeds, for example by removing apps on days off.
- Practice a deliberate slowdown: take a breath, hold your intention to reply, and ask a question that invites detail.
- Treat retraining attention as skill-building rather than moral failure.
Ewens frames the issue as common and fixable: attention habits influenced by devices can be shifted back by small, consistent changes in how we use social media and how we approach conversations.