An 18-year-old fresher describes meeting a fellow student whose behaviour — from air-fryer monologues to OnlyFans photos and intrusive comments — has made him want to avoid that person for the next three years.
Bates dominated social situations with repetitive topics (air-fryer recipes, an OnlyFans subscription) and crossed personal boundaries, following Gardner back to halls.
The incident affected Gardner’s flat dynamic and prompted his resident advisor to suggest drastic avoidance measures.
Jordan Gardner, an 18-year-old in his second week at university, says he already knows the student he'll be desperate to avoid until graduation. He met James Bates at a sign-up session for casual football and struck up a conversation — an interaction Gardner now calls a mistake.
At a later bar meetup, Bates interrupted a conversation Gardner was having with a female coursemate and launched into a long monologue about air-fryer recipes. He "wouldn't shut the fuck up" about how excited he was to try recipes and then proceeded to list them.
Gardner tried to escape by saying he was tired, but Bates followed him back to the halls. Once there, Bates chastised Gardner's housemate for wearing shoes indoors, claiming "That would get you arrested in Japan." The housemate stopped speaking to Gardner after that confrontation.
The encounter affected Gardner's social life in multiple ways. The immediate result was an awkward loss of rapport with the housemate and a sense that Bates might continue to intrude into Gardner's social circle. Gardner told his resident advisor about the incidents.
The resident advisor's suggested remedies were extreme: quit the football team, change academic course, request a different accommodation, and even begin using a different name — otherwise Bates might end up as Gardner's best man, the RA warned.
This anecdote illustrates common early-university friction: people you meet during sign-ups and social events can overstay their welcome, dominate conversations, and cross personal boundaries. Small interactions can escalate into ongoing annoyances that affect flat dynamics and first impressions.
Gardner's experience shows how one person's behaviour — a mix of oversharing, boundary-pushing, and physical persistence — can ripple outward and make simple social recovery difficult for others.
Gardner said the university years are meant to be "the best of your life, or should be for the cost," which is why he tried to put himself out there — and why the experience felt especially disappointing. He detailed Bates's air-fryer obsession, the OnlyFans photos, the pint request, and the hall confrontation that cost him a housemate's goodwill.
Be selective about how much time and attention you give to new acquaintances. If someone repeatedly dominates interactions or ignores boundaries, limit contact early. Report persistent intrusive behaviour to housing staff or a resident advisor, but be prepared that official advice may include logistical changes if the situation affects shared living spaces.
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