People on Reddit named modern etiquette rules they refuse to follow — 10 common examples from a r/AskReddit thread

# What this thread asked and why it matters A Reddit user asked: what piece of modern, unspoken social etiquette do you actively refuse to participate in, and why? Responses collected by The Poke show which everyday rules people find pointless, draining, or unsafe. The thread highlights two broad drivers: preserving time and energy, and rejecting social rituals perceived as performative or risky.

# Ten common refusals and how people explained them

• Letting the payment back-and-forth drag on. One commenter will decline once, then accept if the other insists because they don't want a drawn-out exchange.

• Not changing outfits between similar events. Some refuse the pressure to buy or rotate wardrobes just to avoid repeating a dress at weddings or parties.
• Deliberately delaying responses to missed calls and texts. Several respondents want to avoid the expectation of instant availability that they associate with modern phone culture.
• Pretending not to hear nonverbal cues that expect you to start an interaction. For example, ignoring sighs meant to prompt a question.

• Taking the last bit of shared food if no one claims it. People said extreme politeness can waste food and make the situation awkward.
• Not replying immediately to texts because they lack energy to engage. This overlaps with the delayed-response point but emphasizes emotional bandwidth.

• Declining blanket "thank you for your service" comments unless they know what the service actually was. Some respondents said they won't make automatic patriotic or honorific statements about uniformed people without context.

# Why these rules get rejected Three practical motives recur in the responses: saving money and time, protecting emotional energy, and enforcing clear, direct communication. Many of the cited etiquette rules are social rituals that force people into repetitive exchanges (payment debates, outfit changes) or constant responsiveness (texts, chat greetings). Others introduce safety or moral discomfort (driving niceties that create risk, blanket praise for military service without knowing the facts).

# What to take away and how to act differently

# The broader pattern The thread's examples are small-scale but consistent: people are recalibrating etiquette toward efficiency, clearer signals, and personal boundaries. These changes reflect frustration with performative courtesy, expectations of constant availability, and rules that force unnecessary expense or effort.