Mcsweeneys iconMcsweeneysSep 9, 2026 ~1 min source read

My Ideal Building Contractor

Yes, it will happen exactly like it does on HGTV." "It's so nice to meet another person who is as passionate and knowledgeable about soil aeration as I am." "Could your corgi bark any louder? There's nothing that focuses me more than dog yelps as I use my power drill to update electrical circuits." [ Knocks on wall ] "Wow, did you know your home can be expanded behind this built-in curio cabinet?

My Ideal Building Contractor

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Yes, it will happen exactly like it does on HGTV." "It's so nice to meet another person who is as passionate and knowledgeable about soil aeration as I am." "Could your corgi bark any louder?

There's nothing that focuses me more than dog yelps as I use my power drill to update electrical circuits." [ Knocks on wall ] "Wow, did you know your home can be expanded behind this built-in curio cabinet?

They're trying to get out so they can gather on your stomach in an adorable mass." "Your open-concept living room and kitchen renovation will be done in one hour, including commercial breaks for next week's...

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The useful part

Yes, it will happen exactly like it does on HGTV." "It's so nice to meet another person who is as passionate and knowledgeable about soil aeration as I am." "Could your corgi bark any louder? There's nothing that focuses me more than dog yelps as I use my power drill to update electrical circuits." [ Knocks on wall ] "Wow, did you know your home can be expanded behind this built-in curio cabinet? They're trying to get out so they can gather on your stomach in an adorable mass." "Your open-concept living room and kitchen renovation will be done in one hour, including commercial breaks for next week's My Lottery Dream Home episode.

Details worth keeping

They're trying to get out so they can gather on your stomach in an adorable mass." "Your open-concept living room and kitchen renovation will be done in one hour, including commercial breaks for next week's My Lottery Dream Home episode.

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