Mcsweeneys iconMcsweeneysSep 23, 2026 ~1 min source read

Today’s Programming Lineup on Trump TV

"The White House has launched its own round-the-clock video channel, dubbed 'Trump TV: No nation can truly call itself a democracy until its leader has dismissed the entire press corps and replaced them with state-run media.

Today’s Programming Lineup on Trump TV
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"The White House has launched its own round-the-clock video channel, dubbed 'Trump TV:

No nation can truly call itself a democracy until its leader has dismissed the entire press corps and replaced them with state-run media.

Ted Nugent sings "The Star-Spangled Banner" while gargling a cup of piping hot black coffee.

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The useful part

"The White House has launched its own round-the-clock video channel, dubbed 'Trump TV: No nation can truly call itself a democracy until its leader has dismissed the entire press corps and replaced them with state-run media. Ted Nugent sings "The Star-Spangled Banner" while gargling a cup of piping hot black coffee.

How it works

  • Kash Patel testifies before Congress on the positive aspects of bestiality in the workplace.
  • shows Americans the best ways to flay, brine, and cook roadkill.
  • The president attends a ribbon-cutting for the brand-new White House helipad.
  • Kid Rock shoots a five-hundred-pound wheel of Certified Halal Tillamook Cheddar with an assault rifle.

Details worth keeping

The camera will be positioned fifty feet away, and there will be no audio. Pete Hegseth inspects US Marines for signs of decreased vitality.

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