Fantasy Football Punishments for Your Work League That Violate the Geneva Convention

The useful part

This common league punishment sprints straight into Article 20, which stipulates that the movements of POWs must be conducted at least as humanely as the movements of your own side's troops. Until everybody commits to chugging four Pabsts and heading to the local high school track, HR is definitely flagging this one. Under the Third Geneva Convention, POWs can be forced to work, as long as the work is non-military in nature.

How it works

• Civilians may not be forced to work, even if it's just everybody's favorite standardized test.
• Did he give up his right to refuse work when he traded Ja'Marr Chase for Brock Purdy, Josh Jacobs, and the Steelers Defense?
• Look, I know Tyler has the screen printer at home, and that he can print a shirt that says #1 FANTASY IDIOT in any font you want.
• Our corporate lawyers have ruled that this includes dinosaur costumes, ill-fitting crop tops, and anything Tyler makes at home.
• Though keeping Jason locked in the local drunk tank/24-hour breakfast food spot sounds like a great idea, it might land us a stay in The Hague.

What to take from it

The rules are simple: spend 24 hours at Waffle House, with each waffle eaten subtracting one hour of prison time.

Details worth keeping

Is Jason, who will most definitely lose this year, a civilian or a POW? Loser undergoes any sort of public humiliation. The rules of war apply to everyone, even the League Manager.