Baptistnews iconBaptistnewsSep 28, 2026 ~7 min source read

A retired pastor’s ambivalence: loving congregations and institutional failures in two church dreams

Martin Thielen records two back-to-back dreams that capture his mixed feelings about institutional religion: one of tender community care at a child’s baptism, the other of fierce backlash after a Matthew 25-style sermon about national compassion.

My hopelessly bipolar relationship with institutional religion

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Dream one: a congregation’s wholehearted care for a cognitively disabled child reaffirmed the pastor’s gratitude for local church community.

The two dreams, recorded in the author’s journal, illustrate simultaneous truths: churches can both enact Jesus’ compassion and fail to live up to it.

# Two dreams, two sides of institutional religion

Dream one: baptism and a congregation's care

The first dream centers on the baptism of a 12-year-old girl with severe cognitive disabilities. The child could not articulate personal faith, but her parents — committed Christians and church members — asked for the baptism. The congregation, which had supported the family for 12 years, celebrated the rite with visible love and emotion.

Thielen follows his denomination's liturgy for child baptism: an introduction to the sacrament, parental vows, and congregational vows. He asks the church to reaffirm its commitment to support the parents in raising the child in Christian nurture. The congregation responds, "We will," with clear sincerity. The scene ends with the sanctuary full of tears and the author waking with deep gratitude for the ways local churches can be loving, supportive communities.

Dream two: Matthew 25 and brutal pushback

The next night's dream is a contrast. Thielen preaches on Jesus' judgment scene in Matthew 25, where care for "the least of these" is equated with serving Jesus. He asks how America would be judged by that measure and walks the congregation through three examples in the text: feeding the hungry, welcoming strangers, and caring for the sick.

He points to recent policy decisions he perceives as cuts to food aid, harsh treatment of immigrants, and reductions in health benefits affecting millions of Americans. He concludes that if America does not change course, Jesus would judge it harshly. He does not mention any political figures by name in the sermon, but the congregation reacts as if he has targeted President Trump.

Holding two truths at once

He interprets the emotional contrast of the two dreams as evidence of ongoing ambivalence. Even in retirement he continues to process what institutional religion does well and where it falls short. The recurring dreams suggest the question continues to trouble him: how should religious communities navigate faith commitments when they collide with social and political choices?

What the dreams show

  • The first dream highlights the capacity of congregations to provide consistent, embodied care over many years.
  • The second dream shows how preaching moral evaluations tied to public policy can trigger intense conflict within congregations.
  • Together the dreams explain why a long-serving pastor can feel both grateful for and deeply conflicted about institutional religion.

Thielen leaves the reader with a clear image: religious institutions contain both sincere compassion and stubborn blind spots. His dreams are a private record of that tension, recorded in his journal and offered as a reflection on how congregations live out — or fail to live out — the teachings they profess.

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