Mcsweeneys iconMcsweeneysSep 29, 2026 ~1 min source read

Announcing Cornell University’s Newest Writing Course: Rape Essays 101

We engage with works about guys who kinda seem to feel bad now that they've been told the only way people will get off their backs is if they feel bad. Here at Cornell, we aim to prepare our students for a wide breadth of challenges with our academic offerings.

Announcing Cornell University’s Newest Writing Course: Rape Essays 101

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We engage with works about guys who kinda seem to feel bad now that they've been told the only way people will get off their backs is if they feel bad.

Here at Cornell, we aim to prepare our students for a wide breadth of challenges with our academic offerings.

Rape Essays 101 is the best manifestation of this commitment that our most tenured minds could come up with.

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The useful part

Here at Cornell, we aim to prepare our students for a wide breadth of challenges with our academic offerings. Recent criticism of our assigned Rape Essays has made us reflect on our approach. We understand that it is our responsibility to teach Cornell collegiates what a good Rape Essay looks like.

How it works

  • We engage with works about guys who kinda seem to feel bad now that they've been told the only way people will get off their backs is if they feel bad.
  • This includes YouTube apology videos, the works of Charles Bukowski, and screenings of The Cosby Show.
  • Rape Essays 101 is the best manifestation of this commitment that our most tenured minds could come up with.
  • From here, enrolled students are assigned to write their own absolutions of guilt in MLA format.
  • This empowers students to take responsibility and get ahead of their punishments on their schedules rather than at inopportune times should they, say,...

Details worth keeping

"A New York prosecutor said Monday that he would reopen an investigation into accusations of a 2024 sexual assault at Cornell University… The lawsuit alleged that the seven accused fraternity members were given the opportunity to 'mitigate their conduct by submitting essays to Cornell.'" — New York Times. Can a rapist's prose effectively elicit remorse for sexual assault? What word count best equates to appropriate jail time?

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